Seek Inspiration, Not Competition

I have this nasty habit where, sometimes, I come across a creator who is doing the kind of work I want to be doing and instead of taking inspiration + strength from the fact that they've Made It, I get hella jealous. I end up hate-following them, scowling at everything they do, and having bratty conversations in my head about why do theeeeeey deserve it, why not meeee - I told you, it's gross.

Usually I end up having to mute their profile until my brain + heart sort their issues out. Sometimes it takes awhile. Last night, I realized that a specific someone whose work / career I deeply admire now fills me with appreciation and motivation, vs unproductive bitterness like before. It's been a weird few days and it was a real nice surprise to feel so positive (and less bratty).