Feel the Smoke

Folktale week 2019, DAY 4, prompt: Smoke. Follow along the week to read a new modern story. Inspired by “The Wild Swans” by Hans Christian Andersen
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Chapter 4 - Feel the smoke⠀
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You could feel the smoke and the pain,
But now she knew the only way to gain,
Was to accept things as they are.
Letting go, would spread the wings that far.
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When we moved to Hungary, we thought that with all the time that we got, it is going to be easy. We planned our days and structured our learning to bring results. Unfortunately, life never goes as we imagine. Social media feeds us with perfect success stories, hiding away the hard work, fails and mistakes. I took class with life drawing but I could not understand the basics. So I had to burn my expectations once and for all. I stopped looking for projects. I went down to the ground and kept drawing circles, until I could draw a good one. I read more books than before, not to find the golden solution but to learn.
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The hardest part of personal growth journey for me, was acceptance. I had to accept that I am struggling with anxiety. I had to accept that I might have to find a full time job, to support my dreams. I had to accept that I am only a beginner in illustration and I need to start from the beginning. On personal level, I had to accept that I don’t need to raise my children in any way. Not to be smart or creative. My only job was to be there for them in the best version of myself. No more striving for perfection but accepting the way I am and my family is. I felt so much lighter, once I changed my mindset!
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To be continued...